Reflections

"The biggest trouble maker you're ever gonna have to deal with in life, is watching you from that mirror every mornin."

Probably one of my absolute favorite things to do during the Christmas season is to watch heart-warming, sweet, sometimes even cheesy, Hallmark Christmas movies.  This year was no exception.  While watching a particularly good one I had recorded on my DvR a week ago...one of the characters said the quote above.  It was so poignant to me that I stopped and rewound this line several times so I could type it into my twitter feed.  The truth of this simple line hit me like a brick.  While I can't even recall the name of the movie or character who said this, I can tell you that this message rings true and clear as day.

Today marks the first day of a new year and I wanted to take a little time to reflect on 2013.  That and this blog desperately needed an update.

As anyone who has read my previous posts knows, my year started off with a life-changing health crisis.  It was one of the scariest moments of my life where I honestly faced questions of my own mortality.  I realize this sounds completely dramatic.  Yet, in the beginning I had no clue what was happening to my body.  I never went from being so strong and in such great physical shape to not being able to complete a standing blood pressure test in just a matter of a few short and extremely painful days.

Although the diagnosis of my thyroid disorder came quickly, two months later I found myself in the office of my endocrinologist doctor with an ultrasound machine.  I don't think I will ever forget her telling me that I had a small (ten percent chance) of cancer being the cause of my disorder.  She needed to do the ultrasound to find out.  Just moments later, came the biggest relief of my life, when she gave the all clear that no cancer was present.

It took me four months to get well enough to return to work (a miracle in and of itself and a whole other story that would make for a blog of it's own).  After being off the charts hyper-thyroid, my levels then slowly dropped down until it went the opposite direction and I became hypo-thyroid.  I went through all the gamut of symptoms that occurs with both disorders.  I was then told that my thyroid would most likely never return to normal and that I would need to take a pill for the rest of my life.  They started me off on a low dose as I have found that I am very sensitive to medications.  My med was then slowly increased over-time until, finally, my thyroid levels returned to a normal range.

I still suffered from extreme muscle pain throughout this whole time period and even after my levels went back to normal.  I started to doubt that the pain would ever really go away and began to be referred to and seen by other doctors to figure out why I wasn't well.  It turned out that it just took some more time for my muscles and body to fully recover and adjust.  Thank God, the pain did eventually subside and I began to see the light at the end of what seemed an endless pit of unbearable pain and suffering.

As soon as I was able and given the ok by my doctors, I started to build up my muscle strength again.  I had to start out small with just short walks.  Even though I was back to work, I would get winded after going up the stairs and my legs would start to ache badly if I simply stood up for too long.  I couldn't usually even make it standing up through a prayer or worship time at church (for example).  I had to sit down because my legs and body was just too weak.  Over the summer, I remember going to the LA county fair to watch my brother's band play a show there.  This was the most walking I had done all year and it was a real struggle.  My legs would ache so badly that I had to take a lot of sitting breaks in between all the walking.  Again, fears began to fill my mind of wondering if this is how I would always feel from now on.  Was this my new reality?

So you may be wondering by now, ok...so where do the mirrors come in and how is that your biggest trouble maker?  Clearly it was a real physical battle I fought.  Yet, the longer the physical pain went on, the more confusing it became.  I began to have questions and conversations with loved ones about whether my pain was just in my mind (something I never truly believed).  Or if the pain was being caused by my mental state.  I did not have all the answers, that's for sure.  Yet, I knew I was left with a choice.  I could easily sink into depression and discouragement or I could decide to fight the fears, the pain, weakness and negative thoughts.  I chose to fight.  And fight I did.

I worked up from going on walks, to getting myself back into my ballet class.  Not long after that, I heard about an upcoming opportunity to do my biggest passion again, a musical.  A dear friend of mine told me that she was asked to be the assistant musical director for Annie.  She was afraid to take it on and I gave her my full support and encouragement to go for it.

The more I thought about it after though, the more I felt I needed to take my own advice to her.  It had been 6 long years since I last performed on a stage in a show.  I felt super rusty to say the least and it scared me more than I could express to put myself out there again.  What if I somehow lost my talent and made a fool of myself?  Even worse...what if my body wasn't ready to handle it and/or I went into a relapse?  I had just began to get back to health, work and a normal routine of my life.  My mind swarmed with fears as bees swarm in a hive.

Despite the overwhelming anxiety, I pushed myself forward and went through with the audition.  I ended up convincing a co-worker friend of mine to join in and we both ended up getting callbacks!  As it turned out, we both got cast together as the maids Annette and Cecille.  We were both in 6 musical numbers and I found myself doing more dancing than I have ever before done in a show.  I also continued to keep up with my dance class throughout the two months of rehearsals.  So I ended this year stronger than ever with a successful performance behind my belt!  I met the most amazing new network of supportive friends I could have imagined to top it off.

You see, we can find all sorts of trouble makers in this world.  Whether it be financial, our health, friendships, relationships, careers or otherwise.  While those battles are real, scripture tells us that the real battle is more than the eye can see.  "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."  Ephesians 6:12

The truth is that our bodies, minds and spiritual state are all inter-twined and inter-related.  You better believe that those spiritual forces that the Bible warns us of, want to take possession of not just your body but your mind and spirit as well.  So the real trouble-maker is not the situation or circumstance but the way you handle it.  Only the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning can decide...whether to let the trouble makers of the world (whatever form it might take) to choke the life out of you and take control over your life like the girl in the image pictured at the start of this blog....or to choose to fight back and be an overcomer.  It starts from within.

When I started to grasp this lesson, I was filled with hope and a new strength and sense of joy.  I began to see how the struggle I went through could be used for my good, if I allowed it too.  The fire could either melt me or refine me.  I believe God leaves that choice up to us.  We can choose to become angry and hold onto bitterness, regret, and self-pity.  Or we can choose to forgive, surrender it all to Him and embrace faith, hope and love instead.  I hope as 2013 has drawn to a close and we start afresh this year, that you choose the latter.  Let's stand up and fight whatever troubles come our way.  Take that leap of faith and push through the fears.  Believe me when I tell you that you won't regret it.  To God be the glory.  

Lessons Learned From Having A Butterfly In My Throat, aka Thyroiditis

It all started a little over a month ago, towards the end of the first month of the new year...when my muscles started aching.  Having taken dance two days a week and started doing yoga once a week, at first, this seemed nothing out of the ordinary for me.  I had become accustomed to the familiar pain in my muscles and to me, it meant I was accomplishing my goal of getting stronger and healthier...or so I thought.  

That is, until...I woke up from a dead sleep at around 4am on January 24th from severe muscle pain, all over my entire body.  Despite increasing pain a few days before, I had pushed myself through my hip hop dance class just two days earlier.  I knew that was a mistake right after the class but that was nothing I couldn't handle with some Tylenol and my strong will.  So I went to work the next day even though I felt terribly achy.  I somehow made it through the entire day thinking that with some good rest, I would be as good as new in no time.  Little did I know.  

Back to 4am the next night...upon waking, I immediately knew something had to be VERY wrong.  I regretfully called in to work sick (something I hate to do) and made a doctor's appointment for as soon as they could take me in that day.  It took a great deal of effort to get myself dressed and drive myself there.  Upon the routine check, my doctor noticed my thyroid gland was swollen and it hurt so bad when she touched it that I got faint and had to lie down.  I hadn't even noticed that it was swollen up until then and it kinda freaked me out.  She ordered blood tests and scheduled me an ultrasound with endocrinology.  

My mom came down the next day since I quickly became weak and in so much pain (even with meds) that I couldn't do anything myself.  Needless to say my blood test results came back with dangerously high thyroid levels.  I quickly spiraled even more downhill and we decided it was time to go in to the ER at around 5am on Monday morning since I could no longer sit up on my own without her help and my pain was excruciating.  My mom actually wanted to call me an ambulance but I was too headstrong to do anything of the sort.  At any rate, we somehow made it on our own.

After 12 hours in the ER, more tests and fears beginning to overwhelm me like a flood, the diagnosis finally came: Thyroiditis.  Something I had never heard of before and something I pray I never have again.  Basically, my thyroid gland suddenly became inflamed to the point where you could see the entire gland protruding through my throat.  The doctors call this a goiter.  It is shaped just like a butterfly but this one is not so cute.  Among other things, the gland controls your metabolism, hormones, mood, heart, blood pressure, muscles, and body's temperature regulation (is there anything it doesn't control?).  From what I understand (which is still very little), my thyroid became swollen and released all it's hormones into my body and bloodstream at once.  

Thus my levels were off the charts high (hyperthyroid).  Then, since it now was so inflamed and my body was filled with all these TSH hormones, it completely stopped working altogether.  The doctors don't know what causes it exactly and really have no cure for it.  You just have to let it run it's course.  According to my endocrinologist, this lasts around 21 days at the least.  Mine has lasted longer than that.  Eventually, when the inflammation subsides, the thyroid usually goes back to working normally.  In some cases, it can stay too low (hypothyroid) or it can go too high (hyperthyroid).  Only time will tell what mine will do.  I am obviously praying it goes back to normal.

My body was basically running at full speed ahead, 110 percent, 24/7 from the onset.  Thus, I experienced the severe muscle pain (which was my biggest symptom and still has not fully gone away...though it's getting much better), extreme weakness, light-headedness and nauseous upon standing, high heart rate and palpitations, weight loss (which if you know me, I don't have much weight to lose and I was very suddenly down to nothing despite eating regularly), low grade fever, hot flashes, sweating more than normal, and also a hard time swallowing because of my swollen gland.  Blah, blah, blah....I know....either you are thinking TMI and don't care or I have bored you all too much, so I hope that you are still reading because I'm getting to the best part, so hang in there :)

Because alas, I did not write this blog to talk about my medical problem or to be a downer.  No, no, no.  Quite the opposite...here I am now, beginning to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel and on my way to full health.  I also believe that God is not watching life on earth happen from afar and is uninvolved but that He is sovereign, knows the number of hairs on my head (and yours too for that matter), and cares about everything we go through.  Scripture, life experience, knowledge, and my longtime relationship with God has convinced me time and again that this is true.  Therefore, this did not happen to me by accident.  God had/has things to teach me and maybe even others, through me.  With way too much time on my hands, I have decided to write and share a list of the things I have recently learned for your benefit/entertainment/laughter/encouragement/and whatever else you may get from it....so hold on to your hats and glasses cuz this here's the wildest ride...just kidding...here we go:

1.  The smallest things can have the largest impact.  Thyroid glands are not very big but control pretty much all of how the body runs.  Like the little pedal on a car that we rely on to make a car go and stop on time.  If that goes, you are toast.

2.  There is an actual Dr. Yang who works in the ER except, this doctor is a he and not at Seattle Grace but at Kaiser Woodland Hills.  I almost asked him if he was related to Cristina but my instincts told me that he wouldn't have found the question amusing...so I refrained.

3.  You can actually swallow a radioactive iodine pill and survive with no side effect.  Just make sure you don't touch it first.  When I tried to put it in my hand, the nurse just about flipped and told me to just pour it from the bottle into my mouth and swallow.  It was not ok to touch it and there was a hazard symbol on the little bottle holding this special pill.  No joke.  I thought I was going to turn into spider-man.  A little disappointed that I did not get any superpowers afterwards.

4.  Some friends are VERY against drugs or doctors or hospitals of any kind and are not afraid to say so.  However, I found that drugs can be awesome and doctors, nurses and hospitals to be life-savers.  Say NO to drugs when it's for recreation.  When you are in dire pain, I say heck yeah!

5.  Guy nurses rock.  My ER nurse Brett cracked jokes and made me laugh and also had such tender compassion.  He came right away every time I called for him, never once complained, re-assured me that I was going to be ok and treated me better than any of the doctors I saw.  Too bad he was my mom's age and married.

6.  On that note, Kaiser also has an extremely handsome extern nurse who draws blood in the lab.  He was so cute that I could hardly look him in the eye and my face turned as red as it gets upon first sight.  Thanks to my mom's persistence, she found out that he has a girlfriend and was unavailable.

7.  I now know how to Say Yes to the Dress, if that time ever comes for me.

8.  I also learned how to make amazing cakes, thanks to the Cake Boss.  In theory.

9.  Being 16 and pregnant makes for quite the good drama show.

10.  I know now what Not to Wear.  Not saying I won't keep wearing them...until I get my own $5,000 gift card to shop for a whole new wardrobe...I will have to suffice with what I got.

11.  I cry at almost every episode of 7th heaven or Touched by an Angel.  Now I know how to trigger myself for an audition where crying is needed.  Awesome.

12.   The best way to fall asleep is watching Friends.  I have become deluded into thinking that they are really in my life and we know each other quite well.  They make me laugh and I love them.  I also really want their apartment with the awesome colors and amazing window and balcony.  Too bad it's not real.

13.  Having something wrong with your body and not knowing what it is can be a true test of where your faith is at.  You have probably heard it said that it's easy to talk the talk, but can you really walk the walk?  I have been a Christian for most of my life and been through a lot.  Yet, doubts still can and do come.  There was a moment when I felt complete fear begin to overtake me.  It showed me that I'm honestly not as faith filled as I'd like to be.  Which leads me to my next point...

14.  It is in honesty and weakness that God can show Himself strong and faithful.  The beautiful thing about that moment of fear is that it felt like a holy moment.  The opposite of what you would think.  I felt that it was at that moment when I broke down that God could then step in and be the redeemer that He is.  The Lord truly is close to the broken-hearted. Within minutes of this time, the answer of my diagnosis came.  Relief.

15.  I realized that my faith is more about God's work than my own.  It's about surrender and relationship.  Coming to Him as you are and not as you wish you were.  It's in allowing those vulnerable places of our heart to be seen that we learn to trust.

16.  I got so caught up in the day-to-day busyness that has become my life, that I started to lose myself. This American culture that we live in is go, go, go....all the time.  If I am not busy, I usually start to feel guilty.  This ordeal has forced me to stop literally everything in my life.  It gave me a whole new perspective that I hope I don't soon forget when I go back to my full time activities.  God made us to take time to rest.  To reflect on Him and our lives.  I want to do more of that (just not forced and in pain).

17.  Being able to get up, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, work, drive, exercise, cook, do laundry, dishes, and the list goes on...is a gift.  I couldn't do any of them on my own for a while and I don't take it for granted.  Whether you are having a good or a bad day, count your blessings.  I know that's cliche to say but it's really true.

18.  Be willing to learn from others and ask as well as receive their help when you need it (or even if you think you don't).  This is a hard one.  I can be as stubborn as a mule and have a hard time being open to others opinions, especially if it was unwanted advice.  I want to be a better listener because I know that there is still so much more that I have to learn.

19.  I have some wonderfully awesome friends and family who are there for me when I need it.  Special thanks to: Rocio who brought me over  dinner twice (without me even asking her); my brother for coming all the way from Newport Beach just to visit and spend time with me and who also brought me a nice bouquet of flowers; to Jemima who surprised me by sending a beautiful bouquet of flowers that were delivered to my door; to my cousin Cori who came over several times to visit and gave me a cute bear with Hershey's kisses; to my grandma Nane who gave me a pretty little rose bush plant and sweet card; to my other grandma Ma-mom who called to check on me and let me know she was praying for me daily; to my co-worker friend Ann who sent me a generous gift card to Islands with a get well card; to my work for sending me a get-well card signed by many co-workers at my job; to a family friend Timm who drove out to take my mom, me and my cousin to a special dinner on Valentine's Day; to my church family, several of whom have sent me texts and messages letting me know they were praying for me and there if I needed anything; to my friend Jean who brought me a giant dark chocolate bar from Trader Joe's and came over a couple times to visit; and to my friends, Caren, Sarah A., and Betsi who all came to visit me at different times even though I couldn't do much of anything.  Thank you all!

20.  My mom is amazing and I don't know how I could have gone through this without her.  She has been taking care of me when I could no longer take care of myself.  She has gone above and beyond anything I could ever ask for.  I truly am blessed.

Ok, so I'm going to stop there because this went from silly and funny to serious to becoming more like a thank you speech and I don't want to bore anyone further.  Thanks for reading and I hope you all got something out of it.  With love until the next blog...

The Tortoise Method

Illustration by Arthur Rackham





Then one day, the irate tortoise answered back:  "Who do you think you are?  There's no denying you're swift, but even you can be beaten!"...

...But the hare's last leap was just too late, for the tortoise had beaten him to the winning post.  Poor hare!  Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who was silently smiling at him.

"Slowly does it every time!" he said.

- Excerpt from Aesop's Fable of The Tortoise and the Hare


Seeing as it has been over a year since I last posted my 11 resolutions...in what was only my second blog post ever...it may seem...to whoever read it and (the few who went as far as to become one of my followers)...that I either forgot about my lofty resolutions, gave up on blogging and/or failed to achieve my goals. In a sense, you would be right. I did fail to some degree and keeping up with this blog is an obvious example of that. To those that followed me and care...thank you. Please accept my apology for my lack of follow-through. I am most likely not going to be as regular and as great a blogger as I had hoped.  


If you felt let down in any way, you would not be the only one. To the greater degree, I let down myself. It is not that I forgot about this blog or any of my 11 resolutions I set. To the contrary, it is because I remembered them and did not feel that I achieved and/or succeeded in following through with them like I wanted, that I did not post any other blogs since! How could I go on writing when so much time had lapsed and I had nothing new to really report on that I considered to be an accomplishment.


Truth be told, God took me through an extremely tough and seemingly unending season of my life. I felt as though I was falling into a black hole that had no bottom and no way out. My thoughts began to grow increasingly dark and I found myself crying myself to sleep on a fairly regular basis, as I complained and pleaded with my then seemingly distant God. I don't share this for any kind of sympathy and don't even see a need to go into all the details of my circumstances that led to this. They were complex and it wasn't just one thing. A series of incidents occurred that were beyond my control and all I could do was wait, pray, lean into God and scripture, and continue to persevere.


As I drove home today, and began to self-reflect upon my life, my goals, and yes, this blog...I felt God somehow whisper to me that I am the Tortoise in Aesop's fable. The going may be painfully slow and seemingly insignificant, and yet, I have stayed my course and progress has been (and is still) being made. The black hole was not unending after all and the way out (is) and was to not give up on myself or on God, ever. Plain and simple.


Now that I am starting to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel and reaching a new plateau of hope and joy, I can sense God's presence in my life once again. The road may still not be easy and the finish line is still very far off, yet the key to my success has been revealed. The tortoise knew it all along. The wisdom in this fable is timeless. The more I think about it, the more funny and enthralling it is to me that God would bring this to my mind.


You see, I have pretty much always been the slow one. In fact, my Grandma's nickname for me used to be Molasses, because as she so often said to me: "you are as slow as Molasses"! To give her credit, she is more like the Hare. She has always had this exuberant energy and effervescent personality that reflects an energizer bunny. I think she has trouble relating to anyone who is not like that. Somehow, I did not inherit that gene. I am slow. I eat slow, I process things slow, I even move slow.


When I was in school, I almost always found myself to be the very last one to turn in a test or paper at the end of the class. It hardly ever failed. Yet, as I am learning, slow does not equal less than. My report cards and grades proved that.


All this to say, that although I may still not know Final Cut pro, be in great shape, and be active in theatre or film productions, I have made slow but steady progress. Life may not be on the time table that I want it or even on the time table that others may think I should be on, but I now know that I am on my way and I will not stop moving forward.


So if any of you are like me, please do not lose heart. Most importantly, do NOT EVER give up on yourself and what God can do in and through your life.


Just follow the Tortoise with me and when we finally reach our dreams, we can silently smile and say, yes..."Slowly does it every time."


:)

Resolutions to ring in the new year of 2011

Hello again readers and already now, some followers :) Thank you for your support!

Tonight is the eve of the coming new year and it is the first one in my life that I am spending at home alone. It is not really what one would want to do or hope for, yet it is just where I find myself this time around, circumstances as they are. My efforts to find somewhere or someone I would like to spend this night with did not pan out. On top of that, I have an ever so familiar migraine headache fast approaching. So here I am...left with two options...to either mop about in self pity or to embrace this time and think upon my blessings and hopes for the future. Given that...I choose option b.

It is actually not very hard to do given all of the amazing people and things in my life God has blessed me with. The first thing that comes to my mind are some of you...that is...my closest friends and family who I know love me and enrich my life in so many ways. Even if I live miles apart from those I am closest too, the good memories and love are always in this heart and mind of mine. Access to communication is only a phone call, text or email away and for that I am thankful. On top of that, I have a nice little apartment I have been able to call home for the past few years with the help of various roommates to share the cost of rent. I am thankful for this roof over my head and for how at home I feel when I am here. Thanks to my mom who was generous to me in the time of the loss of her home last year, I have been gifted with super nice furniture that is not only beautiful but reminds me of my family and "the house that built me," as Miranda Lambert's amazingly fitting song puts it.

I have a steady job where I not only get to work with some wonderful people and have enough to be completely financially independent, but where I also get to be a part of helping the disabled and their families worldwide, as a service and ministry to my Lord and Savior. For that I am thankful. I have a car that runs, clothes to wear, a warm soft bed to sleep in, my macbook pro laptop back up and running, and I am in relatively good health. Recently I got to sing Christmas carols with an amazing group of about 7 people with all four parts of harmony in a variety of places. Not only was it a blast to do but every person in the group was a joy to fellowship with and I made some great new friends through it. On top of that I got to sing at Knotts Berry Farm for a live televised Christmas special that aired on Christmas Eve and Christmas day...for all those things I am so very grateful!

You see...it's not that hard at all and I could go on and on. I am thankful to be alive...after having an emergency appendectomy on March 27th, I was and am reminded how fragile life really is. Not that I didn't know that before, as I have been through many things that constantly remind me of that very fact....and yet it is one thing when you see another go through a life or death situation and quite another when you are looking at it for yourself. So you see, I have so MUCH I am THANKFUL for! GOD IS SO GOOD and FAITHFUL to those who love him and are called according to His purpose! Amen.

Ok now that I got that out of my system...on to my Resolutions for 2011:

1. Start my own blog and update it on a regular basis (Got a good head start on this one!)

2. Learn video editing on Final Cut program and develop as much skill as I can in order to possibly use this as a means of income in the future (Lord willing).

3. Cut down my daily commute by whatever means possible. (This could mean big changes either way you look at it).

4. Find and land a job where I can not only be good at what I do, but enjoy it to a deeper degree.

5. Start going back to the gym on a regular basis and get myself back in good physical healthy shape, to the point where I can possibly even run a long distance or go on a big hike and not feel like I am going to pass out. ha.

6. Draw even closer in my walk with the Lord and shine His light more each day to others.

7. Don't complain about things. Instead take it all to God first and only complain when necessary in venting as agreed upon to a trusted friend, as needed to let things out.

8. As long as I am still in L.A. and have the means, audition for stage or screen productions again.

9. Keep my eyes fixed on Jesus more than on what others might think of me or instead of playing the comparison game.

10. Build confidence in myself through Christ who strengthens me.

11. Trust in the Lord more and worry and stress less.

Ok, there you have it. Eleven resolutions for the year 2011. I know some of these are very generalized and will be ongoing. I look forward to this new year for I know that as long as I have breath, God is not finished with me yet!

Blessings and love to you all for a Happy New Year!

Drum Roll Please...

Hello dear readers!

I have wanted to start my own blog for a very long time, so here I am fast approaching the start of a new year and ready to move forward with accomplishing fresh goals and dreams :) Welcome and thank you for dropping in. I hope this is not only a way for me to express myself and get my thoughts and feelings out but is also something that you (my reader) can enjoy reading, relating to and sharing in my hearts song.

My first dilemma in starting this thing was coming up with and settling on a name I liked. As I thought about it...I began to reminisce about well, myself. Ever since I was a child I felt very strongly on just about everything and with that came a sense of loving others fully and completely. My mom used to always tell me she loved me with her whole heart. I remember one night as she tucked me into bed, I asked her something to the effect of "Mommy, what if I love you with my whole heart and love Jesus with my whole heart and love others with my whole heart...can I have more than one heart?" I didn't want to say back that I loved her with my whole heart when I felt that I loved God and others in my life just as much. From that train of thought, I figured that I must have more than one heart because of the love I felt I had within me.

So...years and years later...though I understand I can not literally have more than one heart, I still feel that the Lord has gifted me with (figuratively speaking) many hearts with which to love others fully. Albeit that with this gift has come much heartbreak and pain along the way and my once full hearts, are now and often more like broken pieces, that often get trampled upon along the way. Yet my ability to love fully and completely remains by God's grace (for it is really not my love to give in the first place). I can only love because He first loved me.

Along with this gift of love is a passion and joy for the arts, especially that of song. Music has always been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Maybe it's because it runs in the blood (both grandparents on both sides of my family were musically inclined), or because my mom sang to me since I was born....all I know is that music is the one thing that speaks to me more than anything or anyone else can. I realize that I am not the best singer in the world or even the next American Idol, by any means, but I can carry a tune at the least.

And there you have it....my blog found it's name and I can now share my hearts song with the world (or at least the worldwide web space we call the internet)! I am excited to start this new journey and see where it leads and where my still open ended future may take me. I have so many hopes, desires, dreams and goals (resolutions for 2011 coming up soon) set before me and I anticipate looking back through my tracks one day and marveling at what God has done. Let's taste and see what the Lord has and will do, shall we? I'm all in this blog with nothing to lose and this hearts song is ready to sing :)